
Well.... no! This post is not what you think it is. Its not about my being lazy and courageous enough to let my books rot in a corner of my house while I ever so hopefully walk the roads. Its not even a confession that I have sinned by not touching my texts for the impending exams. Its about something totally different and about which I have been thinking since a looong looooong time.
Its regarding a book which I always wanted to write but due to the lack of time, self-motivation, maybe expertise or all of them I could not. I am convinced that this is rather an odd time to even think about such pursuits when the crucial exams are about to break my door of hopes.
But yesterday I did give it a serious thought and behold!!! I did not find a topic about which I was kicked enough. I though of writing about myself and dumped it because I am not a who's who or whos he. Then I pondered over certain philosophical stands of mine. I realised that they need to be explored and realised much more and only then can I do literary justice to them.
I even thought of going on a self-imposed exile leaving all the comforts of familiarity, comradeship, macher jhol and MALLUS!! But I simply didn't know where. Why? Coz wherever man goes, he tends to find a comfort zone for himself which becomes very convenient. I dont want that. Maybe some spiritual or emotional flagellation would do me good. But havn't I had enough of them? At least for now?
I thought of writing about this mixed feeling of confusion, dillemma and what I cannot bind into words. That got me so utterly confused and distressed that I slumped into my bed and prayed to my alienated muse to shower on me some AHA! experiences. Did not happen. Guess she was busy in the Aonian Mount ineteracting with Dionysius in various ways!
Finally I did it!! I put on radio city and started reading a collection of Bengali short stories by Ashapurna Devi and BINGO!! Again I found myself in the shoes of that critic about whom R.Parthasarathy had written in 'Homecoming'. Only here I wasn't getting paid and was really really enjoying reading it. So now I leave it in the hands of those people who want to read something fresh, something new and something from the pen of a newcomer who himself banks upon the prospective readers for ideas without an air of a self-actualised hermit. Any takers??? I am waiting with my hands outstreched.......